Papaya Paltrow, The Psychic and The Time Machine is out!

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http://www.amazon.com/Papaya-Paltrow-…

Meet Farrah Sniderman, the heroine of Eliza Gale’s mixed genre tale, Papaya Paltrow, The Psychic and The Time Machine. This Hollywood based, fake psychic finds herself forced to move in with a roommate in the valley after her business has gone belly up due to a scathing online expose written by her ex-boyfriend.

While snooping through her handsome new roommate’s personal effects she finds a time machine in his closet. At first she thinks it’s a phony, but she soon discovers that it really can transport her back and forth in time.

Instead of using the machine to kill Hitler, stop people from getting on the Titanic or prevent any other major disaster, she decides to make her own life better, by using the machine to travel to the past and make sure that she never meets her ex-boyfriend.
Once this is accomplished and her psychic business is alive and well againshe uses the machine to predict the future by traveling back and forth in time. Soon she is soon the psychic to the stars.

In the pages that follow, Farrah travels from one adventure to the next. She reads tarot cards and does psychic readings for everyone from A-list starlets and singers to Bernie Sanders himself. Everything is going great until she travels too far into the future and finds herself trapped in an America that has become a dangerous positive thinking theocracy lead by the heiress Papaya Paltrow.
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Farrah’s journey through time is populated by a host of characters: the cynical starlet Tamera who doubts Farrah at first but eventually befriends her; the insomniac pop star, whose desperately wants a good strategy for humiliating her ex-boyfriend in public, a positive thinking cyber stalker, who thinks he can make a girl love him just by wanting her badly enough, a futuristic band of hippies who are traveling to San Francisco in 2041 to join the cities succession from America and most importantly, a sixty three year old version of herself.

 

 

You saw a portion of it here first! Here is the whole thing:

 

 

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Time (part 10)

 

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I stopped a man walking in front of me.

“Excuse me, Sir I was wondering if I could borrow your GPS,” I said wondering exactly what information I was going to ask him to put in it.

“What happened to yours,” he said eying me suspiciously.

“I..I don’t have one.”

“Well, okay, but you should really go get yours, you only have four months ya, know…less really.”

“Right, sorry.”

“So what are we looking for?”

“Well, I’m visiting my sister and well, it’s a surprise visit. I went to her house and she wasn’t there. I need to find her. She’s my twin sister,” I said wondering if this information would help.

“Oh, okay, let’s have your finger.

I stuck out my hand thinking that he was going to take my fingerprint or something. He held it too the screen on his wrists. I felt a needle prick me. Followed by a spray. I looked over his shoulder. There was a picture of blood pouring into a test tube, followed by a clock Icon after a moment there was a picture of me wearing a red blouse and a black pants that looked vaguely familiar.

A picture of The New Beverly Cinema came up. A picture of a woman in a short skirt came up followed by a photograph of Beverly Hills. Followed by a clock that said 11:30.

“She’s at the New Beverly, she bought tickets to the 11:30 show of Boxes of Beverly Hills.

I thanked the man and caught a bus headed for Beverly Boulevard. I showed my ticket to the driver his eyes lit up and registered the ticket. My heart jumped; he was a robot, he looked like a man aside from those eyes.

The bus was almost empty save for myself and a couple of homeless people. I sat down on one of the rickety seats and one of the homeless people stood up.

“I may be down now but I will get back up. For it says in The Secret that, there is no such thing as a hopeless situation. Every single circumstances of your life can change! For I can have all that I really really want. For I shall pray to this universe to show on me all of it’s plenty for that I shall have a home with servants for that in all of its glorious bounty this universe shall bestow upon me a wide screen television,” he screamed.

I rode for about fifteen minutes and got off across the street from the cinema just in time to see myself going in. I attempted to buy a ticket, but I was told they were all sold out. I thought it very odd that an 11:30 a.m. show would be sold out anywhere.

I saw a Subway and went in for a sandwich I asked for a Vegie Max, but the girl didn’t know what I was talking about. There were no vegies behind the counter, only meat cheese and candy. I ordered a cheese and M&M sandwich and ate it quickly. I looked at my receipt and It only said, 14 purchase points.”

I left the shop and went looking for a library, I remembered there was one on the next block. I found it and entered. I asked the librarian where the encyclopedias where and she pointed to a small room which contained a computer, a desk and a chair. I hit the encyclopedia icon and a video of a man dressed in a suit and bow tie came on.

“Who is the President,” I asked.

“The President of the world is Apple Paltrow.

“Oh my God,” I exclaimed.

“God is good, God gave us money to help others aspire to have it.”

“What kind of economy do we have?”

“Economy is a jazz rap artist.”

I sighed. I walked back out into the street and towards the theater. A very long line of people was standing outside the theater. I looked at a digital list of movies that was on large sign outside the theater. There were at least ten movies listed and each of them had many showings. The run time was only fifteen minutes each.

I panicked, perhaps I had missed myself. I looked about to see if I could borrow a GPS. Suddenly I froze, there I was standing in the ticket line. I stood in line about five people behind myself and heard myself order a ticket to a movie called Tina Buys Lamps. I saw myself standing in the popcorn line and timidly approached myself.