Unshutyupyidis and you

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Unshutyupyidis is a psychological condition in which a person exudes an excessive amount of verbiage to express a limited amount of thoughts.

 

It may have an adverse effect on one’s social life, causing annoyance and restlessness in those around a person with this disease. In some extreme cases if may cause the sufferer to get a good solid whack in the mouth.

 

Blabbermouth index (BMI), a measurement which compares words spoken to ideas in the brain, defines people as garrulous (pre- unshutyupy) if their BMI is between  25 and 30 words per notion and unshutyupy when it is greater than 35 WPN.

 

Unshutyupyidis is commonly caused by an exaggerated sense of self importance, excessive wind intake and an inability to listen to anything anyone else has to say.

Duct tape and ball gags are the mainstay treatment for Unshutyupyidis. The most important thing is to reduce the amount of redundant phases used in a conversations such as asking the same stupid ass question forty times before getting a single answer or saying how tasty your lunch is in seven different ways.

 

According to Dr. Fletcher  a windbag expert at the of The University of Chicago’s Institute of  Tautological  Studies “It is very important to shut your silly mouth up and think before you speak.”

 

In the cause of failure anti-bombastic drugs may be taken to increase the amount of breaths between sentences or inhibit verbal diarrhea. In severe cases surgery is performed and an inter larixballon is placed, limiting  lung capacity and making incessant babbling impossible. In some cases it may even be necessary to hit the sufferer in the head with a hammer.

 

Unshultyupyidis is the leading preventable cause of alienation worldwide. Although it is considered asinine by customer service representatives and waiters it is often considered a sign of intelligence in universities and coffee houses.

 

If you or a family member are suffering from unshutyupidis there are many groups that may be of assistance to you. Parents and Friends of the Gabby and Loquacious, The Yakking Men’s Christian Association and Gabpeace. Please don’t hesitate to get help!. The nerves you save may be mine!

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