The Complaint (Part 13)


Ellen ran back downstairs and began typing out her punishment. She had decided that Barrett the Bully would have to spend the rest of eternity eating his own vomit. It was metaphorical in that everything he ever said in his life was a rejection of what was inside of him; it was economical in that they wouldn’t have to feed him or hire any torturers and it was environmentally sound in that this new resident would leave absolutely no carbon foot print whatsoever.

She printed it and proudly showed it to Rhonda.

“H’mm,” Rhonda said glancing at it. “Well, I guess it’s not so bad for a first try. We’ll hand it in and see how she flies,” she said in a bit of a condescending tone.

Ellen went back to her desk deflated. She wondered how many chances she got before she got fired. She wondered if she could get fired. She wondered if she got fired would she just be assigned to another job or would she get some sort of eternal punishment? If so, what would her punishment. It occurred to her that they might dislike her punishment so much that they would decide to make it her punishment.

She returned to reading the news website. There was a story about next year’s elections for Satan. No less than seven demons were running for the office and it was a two party system. The Brimstone party was known for adhering to very strict satanic ideals.  From what Ellen could surmise, the Brimstonians believed in evil for evils sake whereas their counterparts the Treacle Party believed that money, being the root of all evil, was what society should be striving for.

There was a fat round demon who had worked on earth as a factory farmer and an oil tank owner. He was running on a platform of environmental destruction. He was a member the Brimstone party. His opponents included a tall, thin pink demon who had been a cult leader, a curvy lady demon who had run a pay to kill hunting farm and a strikingly bright orange demon who had been the host of many swinger’s parties.  All the Brimstonian candidates were ganging up on him as they felt he leaned to close to the treacle party. They said the swinger’s parties just provided a distraction from serious matters rather than being truly evil themselves.

The Treacle had an equally horrifying roster of candidates. The included a two headed red demon who had been a venture capitalist on earth, he was running on a platform of pure greed. There was a long polk-a-dot demon who had been a corporate attorney on earth. He’d gotten hundreds of corporations of the hook for doing horrible things. Still, he was the center of some controversy as there had never been a polk-a-dot Satan. Rounding out the group was the incumbent Satan, a square green creature who had been a Hollywood producer in the world. He had been involved in a scandal earlier that year when it came out that he had raised a good deal of money for starving orphans back in his old filmmaking days. Although he had repeatedly stated that the charities were just a cover and he had stolen most of the money, his approval ratings had dropped considerably.

After reading about them Ellen was very happy that she didn’t have the vote. She didn’t like any of the candidates and although she was apparently evil she didn’t really know that much about how it all worked.

Her stomach was in knots all the way home. She told Virgil about her experience at work and he attempted to comfort her.

“It’s very rare for anyone to get fired from any job, it’s basically government work. They’ll give you lots of tries. Worst case you would get reassigned. The only workers I’ve ever seen get fired are the subversives; people who don’t do as they’re told.”

“I just don’t want to be eating SpaghettiOs and living in the dorms forever.”

“I think you’ll be fine. Hey, Ellen, there’s an orgy on Friday at one of the clubs in the fourth circle, would you like to go with me?”

“Oh,, your sweet, but, I really don’t think I’m ready for that yet,” she said grateful that they had reached the dorms.”

“I understand,” VIrgil said trying not to sound hurt.

Ellen entered the dorms and made a bee line for the bathroom. She tried not to look in the soul mirror as she passed by. She went into the kitchen where she found Kyle enjoying a sandwich. She heated up her much loathed dinner and sat down to join him. She told him everything that happened including the part about Virgil inviting her to the orgy.

“I’ve been to those things they’re really boring”.


“Yeah, they have all these games but it takes forever to get them going. I prefer my experiences to be one on one,” he smiled at her.

“So Where’s Danni,” she asked feeling herself beginning to blush.

“”She moved into an apartment. I’m happy for her. She’s a bloody hard worker.”

“Yes, well that’s good for her than. How did your haunting go last night?

“Pretty well, I’m really close to signing this one girl, I just have to wine her and dine her a bit more. I’ll probably go back tomorrow night and seal the deal.”

It occurred to Ellen that she and Kyle would be the only ones in the dorm that night.