The Complaint (part 11)



Ellen watched TV for as long as she could stay awake. Aside from the news it was all reality television. She marveled at the variety of different plots they had thought up.

The first one was a show about the life of Ted Bundy in Hell. He managed to avoid his punishment of being in a device that would constantly shove a Samari sword up his ass, by agreeing to be on an endless dating show. The show entailed a stream of insane and hideous woman who had written to him in prison competing to be his bride. Bundy was forced to sleep with all of them including a four hundred transvestite covered in boils.

The next show was called Gia and Anna Nicole and it was about the life of the former bachelor star and the former stripper rooming together for the rest of eternity. They were cursed with IBS and most of the show took place in the bathroom, They weren’t allowed to wear any make-up or brush their hair and they were forced to read all the classics aloud, which was a problem, because neither of them seem to be able to read very well.

Another show featured Richard Nixon locked in an oval office where the pictures of angry Vietnamese people yelled at him, Ellen assumed the show was aimed at old people.

The news came on again and Ellen saw her mother crying while being interviewed.  She wondered why she hadn’t cried yet. She had after all died. No one had told her weather she would see her family again and yet she felt a strange sense of calm. She felt almost as though she had stepped out of a hot tub after a long soak –limp and in a bit of a daze.  Her futile crush on Kyle was the closet thin she had felt to emotions all day and even that didn’t evoke the kind of nervousness it would have when she was alive.

Feeling drowsy, she headed back to the bedroom. She groped her way through the dark and lay down on the far corner of the enormous bed. She could here Danni and Kyle whispering at the other end of the bed, then she felt an ominous tugging at the sheets. Somewhere in the middle of the night she fell asleep. They were all awakened by an alarm at 3:00 am and Kyle had to get dressed and go haunt an aspiring entertainment news blogger who wished to become the next Perez Hilton.

The alarm when off again at 7:00 AM. Ellen was happy to see a fresh set of clothes laid out on a chair for her. She showered ate her SpaghettiO’s and caught the boat to work.

“So, what did you think of the dorms,” Virgil asked as soon as she got in the boat.

“It was okay. I hope I don’t have to live there too long. I really didn’t like the soul mirror very much at all.”

“Well, you should get used to that, there’s one in every residence in Hell,” he told her. “Why what did you look like?”

“I don’t know, weird and old.”

“Having and old soul isn’t so bad.”

“I guess I didn’t look at it that way,” she smiled.

“What do you look like in that thing?”

“I think you’d be surprised.” He said.

They arrived at the office and Ellen arrived at her desk to find a fat green file folder on her desk, it was her first assignment.

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