2014 Resolutions

1. I will daydream more: I hate my job and day dreaming at work stops me from being on the Six O’clock News. Day dreaming about success is better than real success because it doesn’t come with any of the new problems that success would bring. I can dream about fame without the crazy fans and all the people who would want a piece of me. I can dream about wealth without some greedy financial planner swindling me out of my money.

2. I will watch more TV: Watching more TV will help me to better understand sociology and psychology by informing me about trends in the pop-culture. I plan to watch a lot of reality shows as they focus on the wealthy and the stupid. As I am not the brightest crayon in the box, I figure that making a study of theses idiots will help me to acquire wealth as well. I have noticed some of the most successful bloggers write about the pop culture and I, being very insecure wish to have such popularity. I also plan to watch these shows in an ironic way which will make me feel superior to those who think they are actually real.

3. I will have more sexual fantasies about the hot guy in legal: So what if he’s only thirty years old; what he doesn’t no can’t hurt him or make him sick. I look a lot better in my fantasies, I am much bendier and I can’t get sick or pregnant from them.

4. I will internet- stalk people more: I am very competitive and I find that stalking friendly accountancies and frenimies on Facebook and twitter helps to motivate me to beat people at their own game. If I see someone trying to get retweeted I will try to get retweeted more than them. I I see someone with a lot of blog posts I will try to get more hits than they do. Although I am unwilling to give all the details if it hadn’t been for internet stalking and my trying to show someone up, Elizagalesinterviews.com, might not exist.

5. I will gossip more: Gossiping is basically just venting which is very healthy. Putting other people down makes me feel a lot better about myself and I’m what it’s all about

Advertisements

Comments are closed.