The Complaint (part 10)

compShe finished her SpaghettiOs and excused herself to have a look around the dorm.
She went into the bathroom where she tested the water in the shower and as she suspected, it was ice cold. After using the facilities for the first time in the eight or so hours she’d been in Hell she looked in the mirror. She saw a short fat woman with deep crow’s feet and white hair and a rather reddish complexion.
She heard the door open and saw Danni walk in.
“Hey,” Danni said coldly.
“Hey,” Ellen said.
She turned back to the mirror and was astonished to see a morbidly obese acne ridden bald woman crossing in back of her.
“You’ve found the soul reflector, I see, ‘the woman in the mirror said as she passed. Ellen turned back around to see the stunning Danni in the same position as the woman in the mirror.
“It freaked me out at first as well, now I just don’t look in it.”
“What do I look like to you,” Ellen asked in a panic.
“About five foot five, straight brown hair,about 135 pounds slightly crocked teeth vaguely smallish chest; good skin though and nice blue eyes,” Danni said in a rather unimpressed tone.
“So I look the same as I did in life to other people?”
“Yes, that’s right. It’s just Satan’s way of reinforcing the idea that other people’s opinions are everything.”
“But, I mean, how you get ready in the morning?”
“Well, the way I look is part of my job so I have a special mirror to look in before I go to work. You’ll just have to find a buddy to tell you if you look okay.”
Ellen wondered who she would trust enough to do something like this. She wandered back out into the hallway and found an unoccupied TV room.
She turned on the TV and a small blond anchorwoman appeared on the screen.
“Good evening, I’m Jessica Savitch and this is News Unearthed on HNN.”
Five people are dead and seven were wounded in a mall shooting in Chicago, IL today, by a man who appears to have been a disgruntled ex-employee of The Bed and Bath store there”
Ellen gasped as the picture flashed on the screen. It was Morton Tepper, the manager who had been caught stealing from the cash register.
“Witnesses say Tepper ran though the mall screaming, ‘I am an agent of darkness. I am sent here by Satan!
Statin denies any affiliation with Tepper and says that he is disappointed in the paltry death toll.
The dead include Ellen Turnblue a 24 year-old Bed and Bath Store employee, Steven Potsman a 30 year old attorney, Rebecca Kienman a 22 year-old mall employee and Justine and Karen Pitswater two eighteen year old twins who were apparently playing hooky from school that day.
All of the victims were unremarkable in their accomplishments and each of them will come to reside in Hell.
Satan says that he hopes the victims’ families will come to enjoy the media attention they will receive as a result of their loved ones having such highly publicized deaths.
No punishment has yet been designed for Mr. Postman at this time. Mr. Tepper was taken into custody and a hearing is set for tomorrow morning.
Satan stated that he hopes the low death toll and the fact that the gun was not registered to the offender will not strengthen the argument for gun control and and will not encourage health insurance companies to cover mentally health care.”

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