Caroline tiptoed though the alley trying to avoid stepping on the broken glass and used needles that were strewn about. She looked for the address that was written in invisible ink on the fortune cookie. When she found it she knocked on the nobless door. She knocked three times and spun around in six circles.
“Who’s there?” a voice said.
“Census”, Caroline said.
The door swung open and she ran inside.
“Get on the slide”, the voice said.
Caroline looked at the slide.
“But, I didn’t bring my bathing suit.”
“Then, take off your clothes; there are large towels at the bottom.”
Caroline reluctantly complied. She had always been afraid of waterslides and this was a particularly long one. She closed her eyes as she rushed towards the bottom. She was thrown into a hot tub that appeared to be full of bankers having a business meeting; they regarded her nudity with annoyance.
She looked around for the towels and was disappointed to find several large rolls of Bounty. She wrapped herself in them and proceeded to the waiting room where there was an enormous number ticket dispenser. Although she was alone in the room she took a number and sat down. She waited for what seemed like an eternity, when a blonde, heavily made up forty something woman in a business suit came in to the lobby and called her number.
The woman sat down across from Caroline in the small, neatly decorated office.
“So Tell me 42, what brings you to Match in Mind?”
“My name is Car…”
“No! The woman screamed! No names!”
“Sorry…I came here because of my ex-boyfriend.” Caroline said.
“Let me guess, you want revenge?”
“You want him back?”
“Not exactly”, Caroline said beginning to become frustrated with the woman.
“Well what then?”
“Well you said you could get me inside the head of any man.”
“Or your money back”, boasted the woman.
“I want to be his conscience”.
“You mean you want to be on his conscience?”
“No” said Caroline. I am convinced he doesn’t have one I want to be it and bother him until he apologies to me”.
“Ya know sweetie, for the prices we charge … Well I mean we can get you any guy you want. And permanently”
“I’m not sure how long something like that would even take.”
“I have time and money”, Caroline said. I will need some assistance.”
“What kind?” The woman asked.
“A film crew. I’m going to do it in the form of a reality show.”
“Okay, come back next Thursday. We should have everything ready by then.”
The woman handed Caroline her business card alone with a large bag of what appeared to be M & M’s.
“Eat 100 a day. You should notice yourself getting a bit smaller with each passing hour. Be careful on your way over on Thursday, you will be microscopic; you may want to allow for extra time.”