1. What doesn’t kill you will make you wish you were dead.
2. The best revenge is living well, but that’s impossible so just try Youtube comments and negative Yelps.
3. If at first you don’t succeed, tell everyone you succeeded anyway.
4. The older we get the smarter are parents seem because we actually get dumber and their nonsensical blathering makes sense to us, especially after a few drinks.
5. Everyone with hands that work can clap one hand and everyone knows that it makes a sound.
6. There is no I in team, but there is a me and not a U.
7. If you love someone let them go and if they don’t come back to you talk smack about them on Facebook.
8. Don’t walk behind me; I don’t trust you. Don’t walk in front of me; I’ll perve on your ass. Just walk beside me and make everyone on the street think I have a date.
9. Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love; Vodka is.
10. It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but Time/ Warner.