The Boyfriend Experience

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Even if you don’t have a boyfriend you can still celebrate Valentine’s Day. Here are a few simple things you can do to fill that empty void that you thought could only be filled by a man.

1. Talk to yourself and ignore every thing you are saying. After a few minutes start playing with your breasts!
2. Drink a whole bunch of cheap beer and get under the covers and let her rip!
3. Fall asleep while masturbating.
4. THe next time you are in a public bathroom looking in a mirror stop and look at the younger thinner women.
5. Forget your birthday.
6. Force yourself to watch an action movie and don’t let yourself think it’s stupid.
7. Slap yourself around a little bit.
8. Take yourself out to dinner and talk about how much better it is than your own cooking.
9. Take a nice hot bath and get out of it after five minutes to make popcorn. Get back in the tub and get out after another three minutes to answer the phone. Get back in the tub and get out again to answer the door. Get back in the tub and start to cry because the water is cold.
10. Go down to the bus station and find the slowest, saddest mental deficient you can find and convince him that he is a genius.

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